she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
