Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
