well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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