Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Woke up backwards on a recliner
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
