Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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