I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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