Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
