not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
