I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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