Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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