She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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