My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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