Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
