I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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