..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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