that's an acceptable place to lick
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
So much Jack, so little girl.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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