So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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