I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Randomize
