You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
