how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
