People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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