it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
