and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
