Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
