and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
