my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
