it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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