Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i drank out of a bidet.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
