Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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