I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
