Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
