so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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