How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
