Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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