dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
