apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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