in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
