S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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