Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
