i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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