How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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