If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
