Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
