I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
We had to coat check the pizza.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Randomize
