I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
