i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
