maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
