just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
