What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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