So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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